Archipelago Escapade
by Kalcifier
Summary: Steven thinks that Paige and Amy need a vacation, and where better to go than the mysterious gem island? (Role Reversal AU in which the Crystal Gems are swapped with the Big Donut staff Ronaldo)


Larimar and Sphene walked down the beach, looking for anything out of the ordinary that would suggest a gem monster. "Are you sure it's even here?" Larimar finally asked.

"It was, and it wouldn't just disappear," Sphene replied. "Would it?"

Larimar shrugged. "Does it really matter? If it's here, it can't do any damage, so we might as well go home."

There was a pause, which Steven used as an excuse to marvel at the ocean. Why were magical islands always so pretty? Suddenly, he found himself being carried off by Rhodonite. "We have to go, Steven."

"Already?" Steven pouted. When they reach the warp pad, however, he instantly perked up. "Wait, wait, can I warp us back?"

Sphene glanced at Rhodonite, who looked indifferent. "Go ahead," she said, smiling at Steven's excitement, which quickly turned to intense concentration.

The warp pad lit up, and the island vanished below the Gems to be replaced by the temple. Steven cracked one eye open hesitantly. When he saw the familiar walls of his house, both eyes shot open. "I did it! I'm the Warp Master!" he said, looking gleefully at Sphene.

"Nice work, Steven." Steven turned to Larimar in hopes of recognition from the more abrasive gem. Instead...

"Steven," Larimar moaned from a fly's head. Steven shrieked, taking a step back and falling from the warp pad.

"Larimar," Sphene chided, though she couldn't quite hide her grin. "Anyway, we need to head back out."

"Can I warp us there?" Steven asked.

"I'm afraid we're going underwater," Sphene said.

"But if you enjoy drowning, be my guest," Larimar added with a smirk.

"Uhh... no thanks," Steven said. "Can I at least go tell my friends I'm the Warp Master?"

"Sure, but -" Sphene stopped, realizing that Steven was already out the door. 

* * *

Steven burst through the doors of the donut shop with a shout of "I'm the Warp Master!"

Paige looked up from her book to smile at him. "Congratulations, I think," she said as she delicately placed a bookmark and closed the book. "Do you want a donut?"

"Chocolate jelly, please."

Paige inched gingerly toward the donut case, trying desperately not to disturb Amy, who had dragged a chair over to the counter and was currently asleep. Unfortunately, Paige couldn't quite clear Amy's body, instead sending both of them crashing to the floor. "Paige?" Amy mumbled. "Aw man, I had just gotten to sleep. Now I have to start over." She turned back to the counter. "Oh, hey Steven."

Steven was about to tell Amy his good news when Paige said "This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been sleeping on the job."

"Please, there wasn't anyone here anyway," Amy replied flippantly.

Steven tuned out Paige's response so he could think. (He had a lot of practice doing that.) It was clear that something was having a negative effect on both their relationship and their customer service. There had to be something he could do to help...

As he resolved to help them, Paige yelled "And what if Genette had seen you?"

Amy shrugged. "Unlike some people, Genette trusts me. Besides, she's on vacation, remember?"

Steven gasped. "That's it! I'm the Warp Master!"

"Yes, very nice, Steven," Paige said absently.

"I can take us on vacation! Somewhere warm, and beautiful, and magical. For just the two of you," Steven said. Paige and Amy looked at each other for a moment, then Steven pushed himself between the two of them. "And me!" he added.

"All right! Vacation time!" Amy said. Paige looked at Amy nervously, but followed Steven out the door. 

* * *

"We're here! Come on, this way!" Steven said, stepping off the warp pad.

His companions looked around in awe. "How long are we planning to stay here?" Paige asked.

"I dunno. Come on, you've got to see this!" Steven said.

"Yeah, lighten up, P," Amy said.

"Fine, but we have to be home in an hour so we don't miss too much work," Paige said, following Steven out of the trees.

Amy was left by the warp pad with a contemplative look on her face. 

Steven led Paige straight to the beach, closely followed by Amy. "Welcome to paradise!" Steven said with a grand gesture.

"It's very nice, Steven, but we do live by a beach," Paige said.

"This is a magical beach!"

"It's pretty cool, Steven," Amy said, ruffling his hair. "How'd you find it?"

Steven adopted a dramatic expression. "We came here to look for a dangerous gem creature that we never found."

"That hardly sounds safe," Paige said, looking around anxiously. "We should probably go home, I'm sure we can still have fun at a non magical beach."

"Don't be such a wuss!" Amy said to Paige's retreating back.

Paige turned around to say, "I'm just trying to make sure no one gets hurt." She turned back to the clearing, but there was no sign of the warp pad. "Um, Steven?"

Steven came over obediently. "That's new. But don't worry, the Gems will notice I'm missing and come save us!" he said before mumbling, "Eventually."

Paige did her best to ignore this disheartening bit of information, instead turning to Amy to say, "You hear that? It's going to be okay."

Amy shrugged. "Yeah, sure."

"You really think so?" Paige asked.

Amy looked at her askance, but the mood was broken by Steven's shouting. "Guys! Check it out! I found these rocks that look like pillows!"

"Very good, Steven," Paige said, calming down a little.

"Yeah, nice work, dude," Amy added. "But I need my space, so I'm just going to go over there. After all, I wouldn't want to impose on Little Miss Perfect."

Steven's face fell as Amy's tone got more insulting. "I'm sorry, Paige. You were gonna love it here so much, you'd never want to leave. Now you can't leave and it's my fault."

Paige smiled at him. "Don't worry, Steven. I'm sure the Gems will find us soon. As long as Amy doesn't cause any trouble, we'll be fine."

"Look who's talking!" Amy yelled. "I'm not the one keeping everyone awake."

Paige sighed. "Good night, Steven."

Despite Paige's hopes, the Gems still hadn't shown up by the next afternoon. It was soon apparent that they'd have to find food for the day, or else be bombarded by the sounds of Steven's stomach.

To that end, Paige stood in the water with a sharpened stick. Unfortunately, her experience with fencing did not translate well to spearing fish. "Any late-lunch/early-dinner?" Steven asked after Paige nearly fell for the twentieth time.

"Not yet. How about you?"

Steven lifted his feet from the water, revealing a worm tied to his toes. "Nothing. But I can see why: my bait is too adorable to eat. Everything on this island has such a bright happy smile."

"Of course, this would be a lot easier if Amy actually helped for once," Paige said, turning to glare at Amy.

Amy waved back. "Nah, you've got this."

Paige drove her stick into the water with an annoyed shout. She promptly pulled it back up for examination, revealing several fish, much to Steven's delight. "We're gonna live!" he cried.

Amy came over to inspect the catch. "All right, food!"

Paige thrust the stick at her companion. "I've done my part," she said.

"That's fair," Amy said before heading off to start a fire. 

By the time the food was ready, night had fallen. "Yeah, that looks good," Amy said, poking the fish. She carefully extricated one from the fire and handed it to Steven. "You can be our taste tester."

Steven's excitement quickly faded as he looked down at his meal. It seemed almost like it was frowning at him... "It keeps looking at me!" he said mournfully.

"No it's not," Paige said. "It's dead, it's not looking at anything." She turned to Amy to accept her portion. "Thank you."

The thought didn't make Steven feel any better. His growling stomach overrode his squeamishness, however, and he covered the fish's face with a leaf to make it more palatable.

Paige, having no such compunctions, had already taken the first bite of her fish. She chewed thoughtfully for a moment, then smiled. "Wow, Amy," she said once her mouth was free. "This is actually really good."

Amy looked up from where she was pulling her fish out of the fire. "Well, I do like food," she said. "I kind of had to learn to cook."

The two of them smiled tentatively at each other. Steven looked at them for a moment, but he was so excited by his success that he couldn't stay quiet. Instead, he got out his ukulele. "Could this night get any better?" he asked before beginning to play, making up a song about how wonderful life was.

When he was through, the three of them went to bed feeling much more comfortable than they had the night before.

With a food supply acquired, the prospect of another day on the island seemed much less daunting. Instead, the stranded trio set to work making themselves more comfortable. Until the Gems arrived, there wasn't much else they could do.

Paige decided to start by improving her makeshift spear, sharpening it until it almost felt like one of her swords. Steven began setting up a shelter out of leaves and sticks, and to Paige's mild surprise, Amy immediately joined in.

Once Paige was satisfied with her stick, Steven surprised her with a basket he had woven from leaves. Over the next few days, Paige became more and more able to fill the basket with fish. Her efforts were matched by Amy's forays into more interesting recipes, which were good enough to convince Steven to get over his worries about the fish once and for all.

The true turning point of their forced vacation was the night Amy joined Paige and Steven in the tent. She explained that it was a waste not to use the tent she had put so much time into building, but it was clear her protests were half-hearted at best.

From that night on, Amy stopped maintaining a distance from the others. She and Paige even came to overcome their differences by virtue of their constant proximity. They began spending more time together, talking about nothing in particular.

It was on one of their increasingly frequent walks that a giant fish leapt out of the water to bite Paige's arm, nearly dragging her into the ocean. Amy managed to grab hold of Paige, and provided an anchor while Paige stabbed the fish with her spear. Later, while Amy bandaged Paige's hurt arm, their eyes met for a moment. Amy looked away hastily, but offered Paige a fist bump of solidarity.

The two of them had gradually started sleeping closer together, too, which made it all the more surprising when Paige woke up to find Amy missing. She looked around the tent, but the only one there was Steven, who was fiddling with his ukulele. "Did you see where Amy went?" she asked him.

Steven hummed in ignorance, so Paige went outside to look for her friend. As it turned out, that wasn't hard: Amy was standing on the cliff outside their tent mumbling to herself. As Paige approached, the mumbling got louder until she could make out "still not doing anything!" At that, Amy grabbed a rock and hurled it into the ocean, panting slightly. "Are you okay?" Paige asked hesitantly.

"No!" Amy yelled, hiding her face in her arms. "I've got so much stuff I'm supposed to do, so here I am, hiding on an island. Why don't you remind me how irresponsible I am?"

Paige drew upon everything she had learned about Amy over the past few weeks and decided to ignore that suggestion. Instead, she said the first thing that popped into her head. "Oh, you're just stressed."

Amy looked up to reveal tears running down her face, which she ignored in favour of giving Paige a disdainful look. "Well, duh. We can't all be Miss Perfect."

As Amy's burst of anger gave way to more tears, Paige back-pedalled quickly. "No, it's fine, there's not much we can do on this island anyway. When the Gems come for us, you can work on things at home. If you want, I'll even help."

She held up a fist awkwardly, but Amy ignored it in favour of playing with her other hand. "Paige," Amy said softly. "Do you ever feel like you're never going to be good enough?"

Paige nodded, her voice failing her. Amy evidently felt the same; without a word, she leaned in and kissed Paige. After a moment of shock, Paige reciprocated.

The moment was ended abruptly by the sound of Steven singing. His compatriots broke apart with twin blushes on their faces. Amy was the first to recover. "Jeez, Steven, haven't you heard of privacy?" she asked, scrubbing her eyes briskly.

"People walk in and out of my room all the time," Steven said innocently.

Paige stood up abruptly. "Yes, very nice. I'm going to go catch some fish, it's almost supper time, you know..." she stammered, walking away.

Amy rushed after her. "Relax, we can make our own schedule!"

She got to the clearing just in time to see the tent suddenly collapse. Paige immediately latched onto Amy. "What was that?" she asked anxiously.

Steven rushed forward. "It's a gem?" he pronounced, only for said gem to rise into the air. He barely managed to form a bubble around his friends before they were knocked back by the mysterious entity.

The sky darkened as the bubble rolled onto a ledge and popped. "We have to get out of here!" Steven yelled.

As they ran into the jungle, Paige took the chance to repeat her question. "What was that thing?"

"It must be what the Gems were looking for. It never left the island at all. It's invisible!" Steven said, taking far too much pleasure in their imminent doom for Paige's taste.

"It'll be fine, right? I mean, I'm sure the Gems will be here soon. It'll be okay, Steven!" Paige kept working herself up until Amy could no longer take it and pulled her aside, bringing Steven with her.

They soon reached the clearing they had first warped into. Amy whisked aside a pile of leaves to reveal the warp pad, which Steven helpfully identified. "It's the warp pad!"

Paige stared at it, her face blank. "Come on, P, let's go home!" Amy said, tugging at Paige's arm.

Paige's face darkened as she pulled her arm away. "Really? All this was just some kind of joke?" Amy's face fell.

Steven danced on the warp pad nervously. "Uh, guys?" he prompted.

"Not until Amy tells us why she trapped us here," Paige said snappishly.

Steven's exaggerated "Whaaaaaaat?" did nothing to break the tension.

"Okay, maybe it was supposed to be a prank," Amy confessed. "But I liked spending time with you, and we both needed a break." She snorted. "I guess that backfired."

"I can't believe I felt sorry for you! And what about when you kissed me, was that a prank too?" Paige blushed slightly, but crossed her arms to keep from getting distracted.

"Guys, I want to be mad too, but can we do it on the warp pad?" Steven pleaded.

"You know what? I'm done with you," Amy said, backing away. Unfortunately, she failed to notice the cliff until she stepped off it. She had just enough time to think, "this is embarrassing," before she hit the ground.

"Amy!" Paige yelled. She leaned over the cliff, giving her a perfect view of the footprints appearing in the mud. Without thinking about it, she ran down the slope, hitting the monstrosity right before it reached Amy.

The monster was only off guard for a moment before throwing Paige at the wall of the ravine, but she charged the monster again, determined not to let her friend get killed over a stupid argument.

"Paige!" Steven yelled, making sure he had her attention. "Use your fish murdering skills!" He tossed Paige's stick down into the mud.

Paige picked it up, and after being thrown around a little more, she managed to drive it into the monster's back. Its writhing brought her to the ravine wall, which she used to drive the spear deep enough that the monster was forced to retreat into its gem.

Amy watched in awe, but couldn't quite bring herself to say anything. She soon lost her opportunity when Steven rushed forward, saying, "I got this!" before bubbling the gem. "The Gems are gonna be so impressed. We captured a gem all by ourselves!"

Paige pulled herself up with her spear and began dragging herself to the warp pad. Amy put an arm out as she passed, but Paige didn't slow down.

When they reached the warp pad, Steven smiled at her. "Paige, you were amazing!" he said.

"Yeah, that was cool," Amy said. "I mean, you saved me and all..."

"Don't read into it," Paige said wearily.

"We should do this again some time," Steven said, then activated the warp pad to bring them home.


End file.
